self-obsession…

I had written a poetry collection named Mugdha.

This was a good poetry collection but the very name Mugdha reflects my self-obsession.

I don’t know why my nature was self-obsessed and why I didn’t pay attention to anyone else’s views other than my own, but yes, I think I was self-obsessed and this is a kind of selfishness.

Loving only oneself and focusing only on one’s comforts is self-obsession and because of this my popularity decreased and I went out of business.

I was so self-obsessed with my writing that I was always in a hurry, I always worked on my own accord and didn’t listen to anyone, that’s why people picked me up and threw me away.

The interesting thing is that I considered myself a very good person but due to my selfish nature I could not be close to anyone.

Once I read on Facebook that the one who loves is very selfish because he lives and dies only for his love and has no concern for others.

I used to get irritable when I didn’t get to write, and for the sake of my mission, I ignored my son’s feelings.

I kept thinking only about myself and my entire focus remained on myself.

If I had been able to think about what my son wanted, my son’s life would have been different today. With only the thought of writing, I was neither able to go nor go anywhere, nor was I able to get up or sit.

It is not wrong to be self-obsessed but if you do not pay attention to your partner at home then you will definitely get a shock.

The reason for my being lonely is that I remained engrossed in writing throughout my life. I thought only about my own life, but I could never even think about my aunt, what difficulties she must have faced, how she must have lived. What will be their problems?

Nowadays, not only I, but all of us are living a self-obsessed life, which can be called being lonely, a self-centered life and such thinking, in which only what do we have to do, what is our goal?

Beautiful people are self-obsessed. Some people are very proud that they are very beautiful. Self-obsession is the tendency to think only about oneself.

If someone is self-obsessed in the house, he always tortures. If my husband and father-in-law were self-absorbed, they would have always kept me following me by studying and passing PSC and becoming an officer. Because of which I could not live peacefully for a moment after marriage.

Then after marriage, I had to listen to my self-obsessed husband day and night. He always tells how beautiful he is, that is, there is no one like him in appearance.

My husband always did and said strange things which made me sad. My husband and father-in-law used to harass me a lot and say that I don’t look good and am dark.

They used to torture me a lot on this issue and my self-confidence was gone. I was tired and exhausted. So much so that in the PSC interview, I gave correct answers to all the questions asked to me and when the last work question was asked, will you be able to do this job?

So I remained completely silent, as if I was lost in some other world, as if I was not mentally present. My self-confidence was completely gone, so even after taking oral exam in PSC, I was put in waiting list and then I could not get that opportunity which was lost.

And I wanted to achieve such a goal of writing where I have not been able to achieve it, I have not been able to achieve stability in my life. I am worried about my son’s life, I know everything is right and it will be good.

Let’s digress…

Self-obsession is also called narcissism and the person suffering from it is called narcissist. This can be a kind of disease whose consequences can be both good and bad.

A person can become more self-obsessed during childhood and youth. Repeatedly looking in the mirror, combing one’s hair, and grooming oneself are the symptoms of self-obsessed youth.

Some elders also suffer from this disease and then they always tell everyone that in our times, it was like this, it was like this. I too do the same, it was like this in my childhood, I remain self-obsessed with my past and write about it again and again.

My son gets bored and says that he himself lived a good childhood and left me alone.

I laugh at his words and try to make my son’s life so happy that he becomes an example.

This was my self-obsession that I kept writing with all my heart and kept thinking that I was improving this world. I don’t know whether anyone read my words or not, but I kept feeling this way and I tried to convey my message to the world through writing.

I was self-obsessed with my childhood, with the people I met in my childhood and those who loved me, with the environment I found that was interesting to me and gave me happiness.

I feel that if there is greenery then the world will be very happy and people will be tolerant.

I wrote on the environment and even formed an Osan Anandam Society, saying that I would work in the interest of the environment.

I always thought that if we at least destroy the environment and animals then the world will become heaven.

I also thought that heaven is here and not anywhere else.

I still feel that when all working people retire, they should do farming and gardening.

Come on! Let’s talk about narcissism becoming a mental illness.

A disease in which anyone considers himself superior, considers himself richer and more capable, is called narcissist and such a disease is called narcissist personality disorder, NPD…

We can understand that today these symptoms are being found in everyone due to which many types of problems are arising. There is bloodshed between two religions and religions because of the claim that one is better and this has become a tool of politics.

As in every caste, family and clan, there has been a trend of considering oneself as the best and the feeling of superiority and inferiority was growing. Now caste-based hatred is not seen but in small places this discrimination is more because there is more narrow-mindedness there.

I don’t know how the feeling of superiority will be curbed, but when I asked a Muslim Baba Ji – Baba, how long will this fight between these two communities continue, he said – This fight is the world and will continue till then…

This means that the struggle between good and evil will continue and it has to be accepted.

We have seen examples of hypnosis, like if we see a huge forest or nature in front of us, we get hypnotized.

Being self-absorbed is also a habit, like being immersed in music. If you are a good singer then you will always keep humming. If you are a writer then you will be engrossed in your writings and if you are a musician then you will be busy in composing music.

If seen, this is also positive because unless you get lost in your work, art or education, you will not get success. All this requires self-centeredness

For his success, for his life, a person becomes self-obsessed, he explains himself by being self-obsessed. But perhaps people consider or call Hitler’s self-obsession as dictatorship. Mussoloni described Germany as the epitome of superiority. Paris is self-obsessed with her fashion.

Whereas the President of Russia considers himself the best commander and he considers himself the James Bond of Russia, whereas Zelensky considers himself close to NATO, both are full of ego of I am well & I deserve it and the whole country is in Ukraine war. And civilization is being destroyed.

Talking about your ego and attitude is also happening due to self-obsession. The country is humiliating the country and the community is humiliating the other community.

This tendency to assume superiority has destroyed the habit of living together.

It is not necessary that he is a self-obsessed dictator, he is also a poet and litterateur.

Premchand was self-obsessed with the villages of India, so he continued writing on villages till his death and gave world class works. Wrote on the beauty of village life.

Nirala was rich in poetic talent and he wrote very beautiful poetry. Ravindra Nath Tagore was self-obsessed with nature, so he wrote a noble work like Gitanjali.

Satya Jeet Rai was self-obsessed with his film making art so he made Pather Panchali.